Updated on March 26, 2015
Well I am trying to get my mind set. I have to go in and do the biopsy for prostate cancer Wednesday which is tomorrow , and on Thursday I have to do a esophagogastroduodenoscopy with biopsy. I will go in the hospital to do both of them, then on Friday I go in to sign the papers for my neck surgery on the 15th. So it's not like I have anything to worry about.
I quest I could really be depressed about all this and let it just worry me, but I have to much to do to let this happen. It would be real easy to sit here and cry about cancer, or what is wrong with my abdomen, no to say anything about having to go through my throat to do the neck surgery, that in it's self is enough to worry about and be afraid. There are never any guarantees that everything will be all right, all one can really do is hope that it will. I could say that I will pray that things go good, but I don't know how to pray. I know that I have lived a full life and lived it the best that I could have no matter what was thrown at me. I would say that I have had a lot of courage and strength to deal with all that I have had to deal with.
I have always though of myself as a teacher and I have tried to teach those that ignorant's is wrong. It is not wrong to be different or to live the life you have chosen. What is wrong is not to be true to yourself, to allow others to rule over your life.
They worry every time they have to put me to sleep, because of my heart. They hope that I will wake up, they is why they have to do all these test before they can do anything to me. Things like neck surgery becomes more serious and life threatening because my heart is very weak, but like I have told them, I would rather live pain free for three months as to living with pain for six months so it is my choice to take the risk.
If things go ok Wednesday and Thursday, Friday I will sign the papers for the neck surgery. Yes I am afraid, but I have you guys with me, I know that you will be praying for me and the strength of your prays will pull me through all this, that is what friends are about, it does not matter if we have never met in real time, I know that here you are a friend of mine.
I hope that your day brings you some kind of happiness and allows you to share a smile with someone.
I am A Transgender person live in a transgender world as a girl, with hopes that one day I will be just as equal as you are.
I am Miss Bobbie Jean and yes I have a dream.......and what I have learned, is that one can not control what others do or say, so I have just chosen to live my life, my way.
Food for though... be true to yourself and you will be a better you in the end.
My panties are to tight so it will be no panties Tuesday girls...
Updated on March 26, 2015
For as long as there has been Christianity they have tried to keep people from living their way of life. If the church and Christians did not want it to be they would move to have it put down by forcing their beliefs of their religion on others. First is was about the women wanting to get out of the home and be part of society by working and going out in public. It was sinful for a woman to be seen alone walking in public or even talking to a man. To work out of the kitchen was unheard of at that time. A woman's place was in the Kitchen and in the bedroom. It took years of hard work to make things happen to improve a woman's life style, but it happened.
Next we had the colors being faced with worst judgment from the Christian community. It did not matter if a colored man would fight in the war, he could not sit in a white section to eat his meals or use a white's bathroom. It was another long and hard fight to win some kind of freedom, I still remember as a child seeing coloreds being beaten just because they were black. But there were men like Martin Luther King and John F. Kennedy that would change that for them.
Here come the Queers and steers time to fight and take their place in this battle for civil rights. The Gays were the next in line to be judged by these so called Christian Fascists. To be gay was no more than being the Devil himself, straight up from the fire's of hell and damnation.
Now they have no one left but us, As A Transwoman I can say us because I am one of these people that are being judged today and my freedom has been taken away from me a long time ago. I have been beaten and raped, not allowed to use public restrooms or live in a certain community. I have been banned from eating or doing business with some places and it is only getting worst for me here. I don't live in a foreign country I live in America the land of the free and yes I did also fight for the Freedom that I wish for. I have lost everything that I had to live my life for myself so I could feel good about myself, yet I am still paying the price for that.
Now once this battle is over and someone wins who will be next?
Will it be the Christian Fascists that so try to rule everything today, maybe it is time for them to be judged and discriminated against for a change, but wait we are not like that are we, we don't judge someone because that are different, at least I don't.
Thank you my name is Miss Bobbie Jean and yes I have a dream.
Let's make the world a better place with one race called the human race.....
I am A Living Transgender.
© 2014 - 2015 Living transgender All rights reserved
Updated on March 2, 2015
Every time something has gone wrong in my life it has been said to be my fault because of the way I have chosen to dress, why is that? I dress just like anyone else does, I wear panties and pant or a dress. So why is it my fault? I hope that everyone wears something. I have been told by the law that it was my fault because I should know better then to dress as I do here in south Ga. What if I was in north Ga., would it be ok?
I dress as a woman because that is what I am inside and for the most part on the outside as well. We can search for the real reason why one is called a woman and one be a male, but is there really a good reason? I was always under the believe that I was born in the image of our Lord and God, that God had no gender for God was neither male or female if so then I am neither male nor female.
As John 4:24 states, “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” Since God is a spiritual being, He does not possess physical human characteristics. However, sometimes figurative language used in Scripture assigns human characteristics to God in order to make it possible for man to understand God. This assignment of human characteristics to describe God is called “anthropomorphism.” Anthropomorphism is simply a means for God (a spiritual being) to communicate truth about His nature to humanity, physical beings. Since humanity is physical, we are limited in our understanding of those things beyond the physical realm; therefore, anthropomorphism in Scripture helps us to understand who God is.
I can only believe in what I believe in and I cannot control anything that you do. I live in one of the worst place's here in the United States for people such as I. We are hated to the up most and can be killed at anytime in our lives. I know people that live right around me that will not walk out in pubic dressed up because they fear what may happen to them, and sometimes I can't say that I blame them. Right here in my own yard and have been treated to be killed and the law does nothing, because they just don't care what happens to me.
did not like the way I dress. I have never understood what makes one person hate another one so much.
If anyone has more reason to hated then myself, why? I have not done anything to anyone that I did not
know. It is not like I throw myself on other people, when I am only trying to live my life. I have been asked to join a church and then been told that I was of the devil himself, or that I was born of Satan. Hell I don't know why they would say that to me, when I was invited into their church in the first place, was it just to have something for them to blame because of their own sins.
Don't get me wrong I know that yes I have sinned and more then likely when sin again before I die, but let he that has not sinned throw the first stone.
I never was one that likes to lie about what I am, sure I always like to pass as a woman as much as I can, but I always want there to be the shadow of a doubt and before thing gets out of hand everyone does who is what....To me it is more important to be truthful then to be in trouble because being to passable in the wrong place can be trouble...
Most of the time this is what brings on some of my depression. Having to deal with these things can make a body depressed. What separates me from most people like me is that I don't care if I get killed by some asshole that believes he is better then me. If you want someone to kill, try me, lets see if you are man enough to deal with some that has the power of God on their side..and I know for a fact that I have God on my side, trust me.
I write to deal with my depression in my own way, hope that what I write helps someone deal with the things that are going on in their lives...
Thought for the day would be to try with all your heart to stay strong and always try to understand that you are not alone, and our numbers grow more everyday....
I am Miss Bobbie Jean living in a world full of dreams..
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