Living As A Transgender

MY POINT OF VIEW


Coming Out!

Updated on March 18, 2014

 

 "Coming out" to other people as lesbian, gay, or bisexual is typically seen as revealing a "truth" that allows others to know your authentic self. The LGB community places great importance and value on the idea of being "out" in order to be happy and whole. When a transgender person has transitioned and is living as their authentic gender - that is their "truth." The world is now seeing them as their true selves. Unfortunately, sometimes when others discover a person is transgender they no longer see the person as a "real" man or woman - and it can feel disempowering for a transgender person to have that experience. Some people (like Myself) may choose to publicly discuss their lives in an effort to raise awareness and make cultural change. But please don't assume that it's necessary for a transgender person to be "out" to everyone in order to feel happy and whole.

 Some transgender people feel comfortable disclosing their transgender status to others, and some do not. Knowing a transgender person's status is personal information and it is up to them to share it. Do not casually share this information, or "gossip" about a person you know or think is transgender. Not only is this an invasion of privacy, it also can have negative consequences in a world that is very intolerant of gender difference - transgender people can lose jobs, housing, friends, or even their lives upon revealing of their transgender status.

 You can't tell if someone is transgender just by looking.

 Transgender people don't all look a certain way or come from the same background, and many may not appear "visibly trans." It's not possible to look around a room and "see" if there are any transgender people. (It would be like a straight person looking around the room to "see" if there are any gay people.) You should assume that there may be transgender people at any gathering.

 Don't make assumptions about a transgender person's sexual orientation.

 Gender identity is different than sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is about who we're attracted to. Gender identity is about our own personal sense of being male or female (or someone outside that binary.) Transgender people can be gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight.

 If you don't know what pronouns to use, ask.

 Be polite and respectful when you ask a person which pronoun they prefer. Then use that pronoun and encourage others to do so. If you accidently use the wrong pronoun, apologize quickly and sincerely, then move on. The bigger deal you make out of the situation, the more uncomfortable it is for everyone.

Don't ask a transgender person what their "real name" is.

For some transgender people, being associated with their birth name is a tremendous source of anxiety, or it is simply a part of their life they wish to leave behind. Respect the name a transgender person is currently using. If you already know someone's prior name don't share it without the person's explicit permission.

Don't ask about a transgender person's genitals or surgical status.

 It wouldn't be appropriate to ask a non-transgender person about the appearance or status of their genitalia, so it isn't appropriate to ask a transgender person that question either. Likewise, don't ask if a transgender person has had "the surgery" or if they are "pre-op" or "post-op." If a transgender person wants to talk to you about such matters, let them bring it up.

Don't ask a transgender person how they have sex.

 

Similar to the questions above about genitalia and surgery - it wouldn't be appropriate to ask a non-transgender person about how they have sex, so the same courtesy should be extended to transgender people.

 

 

 

 JUST ME TALKING HERE


BEING TRANSGENDER DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAY!

Updated on March 14, 2014

Many people think that just because someone say’s they are transgender that they are gay. It does not work that way.

When someone is born into this world they are filled with hormones, some male and some female, believe it or not, yes everyone is born this way, so now what happens is that one will have more of one hormone then the other which usually makes your gender role in society, but sometimes natural makes a mistake and allows someone to be born as a male with more female hormones, or a female with more male hormones, thus brings forth transgenders like myself and many others out there.

Back when I was coming up in the world you did not speak of such things, but now the young ones have more of a chance at getting a sex change with all the new knowledge they have today. So for the most part many like us have to deal with what we are and except the fact that we will never have that chance at living as a full woman before we die.

TEACHING ABOUT A LIFE STYLE

Today I have tried to learn how to just live with myself, for it is all I have left in life. I cannot change who or what I am and I really don’t want to. I look at it like this; all I can do now is teach people that just because someone feels that they are transgender, this does not make them gay by any means at all. Many men that now dress for themselves still live with their wives and they are happy.

So many like me find ourselves living alone or with a friend. Fortunately I live with a real good friend, anyway I think I do. She has been here for me a many times when I needed someone to take care of me. My health is not been real good as of late, I have to go back and forth to the doctors and the hospital, that is what she does for me. When I don’t feel like cooking she makes sure I get something to eat and clean the kitchen.

Anyway she takes good care of me for the most part, but that is another story.

BEING GAY

Getting back to what I was saying about being gay. There is a lot of difference between being gay and being a transgender person.

Being gay is someone that just likes being with other men, they don’t really like the dressing up part. Being transgender you can go both ways or stay with the one, male or female, myself I like men, but because I like men as a woman, I don’t think of myself as being gay.

In fact when I was going out to the clubs here in south Ga., I found that the gay community did not much care for me here. They would treat me bad and with little or no respect at all. They tried to tell me that I was what they called a shout it out loud fag because I made myself stand out in public, but all I was doing was trying to live my life the way I needed to live it, so I just stopped going to the gay clubs, which left me with no place to go here in the south.

 

HARD TIMES

The hard part has been to live here. There are so many that don’t understand what it is like to live the way I do, because they just want to think of me as being gay. Some people get the part about just wanting to live as a woman, but the most do not. Because of this I am treated with little or no respect most places I go, and now they are trying to make it even harder by passing the law that would allow any place of business to discriminate because of their religion.

I truly believe that God has created me in his image and I have the right to live my life the way I choose to, but if I am wrong then only God can make me pay for that mistake, no human has the right to judge another human being.

 I am going to say thank you for reading my writing’s and May you have a good day. 

I have a Dream.

I am Bobbie Jean.

 

 


THE BEAUTY WE SEEK COMES FROM WITHIN!

Updated on March 10, 2014

Every day we wake up and look into that minor to see ourselves. What we see is the outer look of who we are, but the beauty that I speak of here comes from inside of our hearts.

Too many people these days take everything for granted and do not take the time to reach into someone’s heart before they judge them.

A HERO!

Once upon a time there was this man, his face was all burned up and all the people that saw him would make these weird noises and say all kinds of ugly things about the man. They were really mean to him all the time. He was hurt because of what was being said, but there was nothing he could do because people were judging him by the way he looked and not by his heart. This man that was burned all over his face was lucky to even be alive, because he was a firefighter and had gone into a burning building to save a Childs life that he did not even know, but because of the beauty in his heart he was ready to give his life for that child. He saved the child but it cost him something. He was now scared for life, but in his heart he had done the right thing. The same child that he saved is now a firefighter saving lives. Now do you see the beauty within this man?

The whole point here I guess is that one should never judge a book by its cover or a person by the way they may look. Life brings many things to the table and we have to deal with that.

Many young men go off to war and come home scared for life, but that does not make them any less beautiful.

 A CHILD!

 

It is not for us to judge any one. It is wrong to try a bully someone because of their looks. A child goes to school for the first time in weeks, but now has a scared up face, so the other kids at school feel the need to bully and abuse this Childs rights and called them names and make jokes about the way they look so the others will laugh at them. Little did they know what happen to this child? There was a car accident and the family was hit by a drunk driver and everyone in the family was killed except this child. So does that make this child any less beautiful?

MYSELF!

I know that I am not beautiful on the outside, but I try to be beautiful on the inside. I have pretty much always failed at what I tried to do, but I like to write and that I can do. I write about what is in my heart and what I feel like by helping someone else. It is not for me to bring you all the answers, but I can only try to bring you one, so if anything that I write helps you in anyway then I have done my job.

Today I have tried to share with you about being beautiful. Beauty comes from within our hearts and minds. It is not what we look like on the outside, it is what we are on the inside.

So today as you walk around and see others, be sure that you know the true story behind their lives before you judge their looks. I am An American Vet and I was very lucky that my face was not torn off when I was wound fighting for your rights to live free, because if it were then I guess you would be laughing at me.

Till next time

I have a Dream,

I am Bobbie Jean.

 

 


Homophobic and sexual bullying

Updated on March 9, 2014

Homophobic and sexual bullying

This is homophobic bullying. Homophobia is the hatred of or when people discriminate against lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people (LGBT), or people they think may be LGBT. The term includes biphobia (hatred of bisexual people) and transphobia (hatred of transgender people).

Anti-gay graffiti, spreading rumours that someone is gay, being abusive, jeering or violence towards someone who is LGBT are all types of homophobia.

Sometimes people who bully may target another because they are LGBT. People who are heterosexual (sexually and emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite sex) can also be victims of homophobia because the people bullying think that they are LGBT.

 

Sometimes people use the word ‘gay’ in a casual manner to describe something they don’t like, e.g. ‘that car is so gay’. This homophobic language sends negative messages and could make people who are LGBT feel they don’t belong or there is something negative about being gay.

The victim of homophobic bullying can feel lonely and isolated. Because of homophobia, they might be afraid to talk to anyone about their sexual or gender identity. They may feel pressure to be in heterosexual relationships so bullying stops, hoping this will mean they are accepted by others.

Homophobia is just as serious as any other type of bullying. Everyone has the right to be treated equally and with respect.

Being LGBT is not just about physical attraction, it includes the basic need to be accepted, loved and loved in return. As with all close relationships, the relationships between people who are LGBT are private and personal.

If your friends have been bullying someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender you should call them up on it. Point out that what they are doing is wrong. Explain that saying ‘that’s gay’ is an offensive term.

Support the victim of the bullying by letting them know you disagree with it and do not want to be part of it. It is also important for teachers or supervisors to know about the bullying.

Breaking silence is the key to stopping it. Report the bullying.

 My boyfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex and I am not ready to do this yet. Is this a type of bullying?

Yes, this is called sexual bullying. It is wrong to put others under pressure to have sex or to do anything they aren’t happy about, this includes touching or being touched in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

Both boys and girls can sexually bully another person. Sexual bullying doesn’t just happen in relationships, it can happen in groups of friends too. Check out the Q&A below for more information.

Sexual intimacy belongs in a relationship where there is respect, understanding and trust with both people feeling safe, valued and cared for.

You are entitled to say no and your feelings should be respected.

Be as assertive as you can and let your partner know that you are feeling under pressure. You may need to say this several times to get your point across. If the pressure continues, it may be time for you to get out of the relationship.

Even if you really like the other person, if they cannot respect your wishes this is not good enough and means your relationship is unhealthy.

In Ireland, the age which someone can legally have sex is 17. This is known as the age of consent. If you go towww.b4udecide.ie you can find more information about this law as well as advice and tips regarding sexual relationships

What other things could be sexual bullying?

 

 

 

Having sex with someone without their consent or forcing someone to do something sexual against their will is a criminal offence. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact. You can find out more about this at ie.reachout.com


"Just me talking here"

Updated on March 4, 2014

Good morning: 

I know that everyday you see a lot of what I post, unless you have felt the need to block my post, anyway I think what I do and say is important and I will try to continue to do so.

I believe that every one of us has the right to live and look the way we choose to so. It is not up to anyone else to tell us how to dress or what to look like.

There are many things out there that maybe someone might not like to do, but judging others is not up to you.

Today we live in a world full of BULLYING, HATRED, DISCRIMINATION, IGNORANCE, BIGOTRY AND THE LACK OF UNDERSTAND ABOUT BEING DIFFERENT.

My life as never amounted to anything till now. Everyday I look around and I see how people treat others just because it makes them feel better about themselves because they are nothing in the first place, so by putting someone else down, it brings them up in the front of their friends.

Well I have nothing left in my life to give but my self and my words. I am in no way better then anyone else. I live and try to help teach people that being different is not against the law. I believe that if you look real good at the Constitution of the United States you'll find that it is our right to be different.

Now Because people think that God is telling them to judge us, they are doing the right thing, yet they forgot that God Said. "THY SHELL NOT JUDGE" FOR ONLY GOD HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE, FOR GOD IS OUR CREATOR AND GOD MADE US IN HIS IMAGE.

So before you try to judge someone , take a good look in the minor at yourself, I can assure you that you will see your true self and unless you are God there is something about you that someone else might not like either.

So be kind to yourself by not judging someone else today...

I Have A Dream 
I Am Bobbie Jean 

 


Whats the difference?

Updated on March 4, 2014

Transgender. Transsexual. Transvestite. 

Unless you've had direct experience with people with gender issues, sometimes it can be a bit confusing what the different associated terms mean. Here’s a very quick guide to what the ‘T’ in LGBT stands for…

Transgender is a general umbrella term which can be applied to a variety of people, behaviors, and groups that vary from traditionally conventional and cultural gender roles of men and women. Therefore it encompasses transsexuals, transvestites and gender-variant people.

Transsexuals are people who do not identify with the sex they were born with. For example, they were born physically as a girl, but inside they feel masculine, like they should be male. 
A ‘post-operative’ transsexual refers to those people who've had some surgery to change their body to be more like the sex they want to be. Many transsexuals also take hormones to alter their body and try to complete their physical appearance and feel comfortable in their skin.

Transvestites (also know as cross-dressers), are those people that enjoy wearing clothes associated with the opposite sex. It doesn't mean they are transsexual or gay. Some heterosexual men, who are happy with their gender and orientation, also enjoy dressing up as women.

 


Living as a Transwoman

Updated on March 1, 2014

  

 

I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

 

 

  I have often wondered if the choice’s I had made were the right ones for me.

I am not sure what kind of life that I would have lived as a male, because about 30 years ago I changed all that. I walked into a whole different world by putting on a dress, everything changed for me.

  I have made this choice because I needed this for myself and even thought I stand alone here in my life I am sure that the choice I made was right for me. I have lost everything, family and friends along the way, but I still believe that I am right about who and what I am, the only thing that hurts me, is the fact that I will more than likely never have the sex change because of my health.

  Today I deal with all kinds of pain and troubles, not because of the way I have chosen to spend my life, but because of my health. I am getting old and my body is dying. I have a bad heart and many other problems that come with that.

  I have tried to live out my life doing what I thought was right for me and to make me happy. Not sure how that worked out for me! Maybe things could have been better.

  The only thing that I can hope for is that maybe I have had the chance to teach others about what it is like to live as a transgender. So many people don’t know what that is, they only think that we are just gay guys that like to wear a dress, but it has nothing to do with being gay at all. It is about wanting to be a woman and living out our lives as such. There are two kinds of transgenders, male to female or female to male, both are after the same thing, just wanting to live our lives as we really feel inside.

   I am sure that for the most part most of you have no idea what it would be like to live as we have to. You may think that we have a choice in the matter, but in reality we do not have that choice. We have to fill the need that burns inside of us, that feeling of fulfilling our lives. I know that it has been part of my live for as long as I can remember.

 

HATRED AND BIGOTRY

 

  I have had to deal with all kinds of hatred and bigotry here in the south. Sure I could have moved on to live in the big city of Atlanta, but I don’t think that I could afford to live there. I think that for some reason, I was put here to teach about what we are and why we are the way that we have lived. It saddens me to see how many people here live in the closet because they are afraid to step out into the public. I always thought that it was because they did not want to be judged, but what I have come to find out is that they just don’t care enough about themselves to do anything about changing the faith here. They don’t want to live free, they like living in that closet and I have gotten tired of fighting for their rights. Now I am just going to try and teach other about what living as a transwoman is like. I have learned a lot on how to show myself in public. That is the most important part of it. I used to be angry all the time because sometimes it is hard to be passable all the time. It takes a lot of time and work to get everything just right to be passable, so if I am just going to the store to shop for a little food and I don’t have the time or I don’t feel like it, I go as best I can for that time. If it is going to take me longer to get ready to go then I might not go at all. So I just throw something on and I go.

  It is not easy to walk into a store where I have been and know that someone will say something every time, but my friend is teaching me how to just ignore it, as hard as that maybe, lol. I don’t know how she does it, but it is like she just let’s it roll right of your back, never looking back, I hear everything that people say, she hears nothing. It has cause a lot of problems for me.

  I believe that what I have learned here is that it is not about being passable, but it is about being yourself. Being true to yourself is more important than being passable. People will come to look at you for who you are and not what you are; they will learn to believe in you as you believe in yourself.

 

UNDERSTANDING

 

  I guess the hard part for me is trying to understand why people feel the need for discrimination and judging of others for being what they want to be. It is wrong to try and bully someone into being what they call straight or normal. I don’t know what normal is for me. I believe that everyone has the right to be or do whatever they choose to be. It is not for me to judge anyone. Do what makes you happy, because I am sure going to try and do what I want to.

  I am going to end this for now. I would like to say thank you for being here and we hope that you will enjoy our world of LIVING AS A TRANSGENDER.

 

I HAVE A DREAM

WRITTEN BY BOBBIE JEAN



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